Why Parents’ Sideline Behaviour Matters: What the Science Says

A fun football match can quickly turn into what feels like a Premier League derby when parents on the sidelines begin showing frustration and shouting instructions to their child on the pitch. While feeling passionate is natural, the way parents behave both on and off the pitch can have a lasting impact on a child’s confidence, enjoyment, and development in the sport.

In this article, we’ll explore how parent behaviour can either negatively or positively influence their children’s experiences playing football. Through psychological research on the effects of pressure on children and the power of something called a growth mindset, we’ll unpack how you can best support your child’s football journey as a parent and as a coach.

Pressure Vs. Support

Winning matches, improving their skills, and enjoying the sport they love are all things parents want for their children who play football. Parents do their best to support these goals for their child, but the way that support is expressed can sometimes feel like pressure. The line between pressure and support isn’t always clear, especially when adrenaline is high on the sidelines.

Imagine an eight-year-old child doing their best in a football match, and she is approaching the goal to make a shot. Just as she’s gearing up a kick, she hears her mum and dad shouting, “Pass it! Don’t go for the goal!”. She gets confused, tackled, and misses the shot. Afterwards, she can tell her parents are visibly upset that she lost the game.

Although well-intentioned, this is an example of how sideline guidance and emotional reactions can feel pressuring to a child. In youth football, pressure can also come in the form of criticizing a child’s mistakes, showing visible disappointment, or overemphasizing their need to win over enjoying the game. According to psychologists, this pressure can lead a child to have low self-esteem, performance anxiety, and even view the pitch as a threatening environment (Rourke et al., 2011).

Now, imagine that same eight-year-old child nearing up to the goal, ready to attempt a shot. She hears clapping from the sidelines and kicks the ball toward the goal. The football hits the goalpost and misses the shot, but the clapping continues. After the game, her parents say, “You worked so hard today, I’m proud of you!”

Unlike pressure, true support is unconditional, meaning that a child is shown encouragement regardless of how they are performing on the pitch. In football, support can be shown through promoting enjoyment over winning, expressing pride in their effort, and remaining positive on the sidelines during games. In recent research, child psychologists have found that supportive behaviours like these contributed to leadership skills, teamwork, and goal setting in youth football players (Fleming et al., 2023; Mossman & Cronin, 2019).

Encouraging Support: Building a Growth Mindset

A great way to support your child’s confidence and enjoyment in football is by encouraging a growth mindset. Psychologists refer to someone with a growth mindset as one who believes that abilities can be developed through persistence, learning from mistakes, and trying out different strategies (Haimovitz & Dweck, 2017). Children with a growth mindset understand that they can get better at something through practice, which gives them the confidence to view challenges as something that they can overcome through persistence.

So how can you support your child in a way that promotes a growth mindset? One important way is through process-focused feedback, which is praising your child for things like effort and improvement instead of wins. Process-focused feedback includes acknowledging how hard they are working and praising when they pick up a new skill. This kind of feedback has been shown to increase intrinsic motivation in children, which heightens their resilience, motivation, and long-term engagement in challenging activities (Dweck, 2007).

Another way to support a growth mindset is to encourage your child to not give up both on and off the pitch, especially when something is particularly difficult. You can help your child become resilient by reframing challenges as something positive. For example, you can teach your child that learning a new skill is difficult because it means that their brains are growing stronger and they are becoming a better player. Removing the negative aspect of a challenge can help your child avoid frustration and help them stick to their goals.

Final Thoughts

Every parent wants their child to have fun on the football pitch, and how you show your support makes all the difference. When you focus on positive encouragement over wins or losses, you can help your footballer grow confidence and a lifelong enjoyment of the game. The most powerful message you can send from the sidelines isn’t game strategy, but that you’re proud of them for giving it their best.

Sources:

Dweck, C. S. (2007). Boosting achievement with messages that motivate. Education Canada, 47(2), 6-10.

Fleming, D. J., Dorsch, T. E., & Dayley, J. C. (2023). The mediating effect of parental warmth on the association of parent pressure and athlete perfectionism in adolescent soccer. International Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 21(3), 491-507.

Haimovitz, K., & Dweck, C. S. (2017). The origins of children’s growth and fixed mindsets: New research and a new proposal. Child development, 88(6), 1849-1859.

Mossman, G. J., & Cronin, L. D. (2019). Life skills development and enjoyment in youth soccer: The importance of parental behaviours. Journal of sports sciences, 37(8), 850-856.

Rourke, D. J., Smith, R. E., & Smoll, F. L. Cumming. SP (2011).“Trait anxiety in young athletes as a function of parental pressure and motivational climate, is parental pressure always harmful. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 23(4), 398-412.